If you own a cat there is something wrong with you. Sorry but it is the truth. There has to be something wrong with you in order to accept that a cat's behaviour in a home is acceptable. Just so you know us normal people talk about you and look down on you as the scum of society. Cat lovers are weak and have no soul.
OK, I can agree that some people have a purpose for owning a cat. For example, if you live on a farm and have rats you can own a cat. Fuck it have two or three, just don't let them in your house.
Cats are disgusting selfish self absorbed creatures that will shit and piss in your home. At least the dog will wait and go outside. The only thing cats are good for other than ratting is making a good meal for some other animal.
Cat people allow themselves to be trained by their cat. This is why they are weak. You think your cat is the most important thing in the world. You let them lick you after they have spent the day cleaning their assholes.
I don't understand why you think that other people enjoy your cat. When I come over to your house don't ask me to pet your cat. I don't like your cat. No, I don't want to hold your fucking cat. I am allergic and that thing is probably going to try and stick its tail in my face and make me look at its asshole. Do cat people realize they look like fucking idiots when they are talking to their cats? Your cat does not respect you. I can tell this because when you talk to it the cat will turn around and show you its asshole.
Please leave me alone with your cat. Put it on my lap and leave. I keep three large rocks and a burlap sack in my truck for just such occasions. Nobody likes your cat. Deal with it and get over it. Your cat is useless. When I travel to parts of Asia I will eat cat just so that it is clear that I am higher on the food chain. You cat lovers clearly haven't evolved enough yet. You should be put on an island with murders and rapists; maybe they will like your cat.
Stop sending me emails with pictures of cats doing nothing useful. Do you really think that cat wants a "cheezburger". No! You cannot "has cheezburger". Now fuck off.
The only part I remotely like about the cats people own is the fact that when you slip, and fall, and die, your cat will eat you. They will start with your face. Good luck with an open casket funeral. If you are a crazy cat lady with 30 cats your family can thank you. Your cats will leave nothing but bones. So much cheaper than a funeral. Your family can just scoop the bones up in a garbage bag and bury it in the back yard next to your first three cats.
At least when I slip, fall and die in the shower there won't be any cats around to eat my face off.
ReplyDeleteFrom this post you come across as a psychopath.
ReplyDeleteIf you could write a big long post about why you dislike cats/cat people without sounding like a teenager/socially retarded adult I'm sure I could sympathise with you.
I guess you're just sick of cats like a song that's played on the radio too much?
You use the internet, so I'm sure you see cat pictures every single day. There's no need to be annoyed, you could adjust frame of mind if you wished to. I used to not particularly like or dislike cats.
I keep all my pets very clean so we can all have cuddles in bed! My cat loves me as much as my dog does, he just shows it in a different way. You can tell when he's angry, playful, content or happy! Those are his 4 settings. He is generally affectionate and lovely!
Just out of curiosity, have you been diagnosed with a personality disorder? You may need to talk to a professional about the way you feel and think. I felt really angry at the world and everyone in it for a very long time but I'm a different person now. I feel like a better person after having a few years of therapy.
Sincerely,
Elgaar.
Elgaar,
DeleteI would like to thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Perhaps I can clear a few things up for you.
No one has been able to diagnose me with any type of personality disorder. I do not have any pertinacity to want to kick kittens or any such thing. It is true that I do not have a lot of empathy for some things and many people but I am not a psychopath, my doctor told me so.
I certainly dislike cat people more so than cats. It is very nice that you keep your animals clean; I'm sure they must appreciate that. Generally I prefer to have cuddles with other humans, preferably of the female variety. Although this one time in Vegas I was really drunk and... well that should probably stay in Vegas. But to be clear I was the big spoon.
It is true that I use the interweb, and on an almost daily basis. I do see a lot of cat pictures. In fact a coworker must have some sort of "cat-of-the-day" thing on her computer and she feels the need to forward this to my already full email inbox (I am always asking IT to give me more space on the server). This woman should be dragged into the street and stoned, or at the very least a few large pebbles thrown at her by small children. Sending emails with pictures of cats is no example to set for the soft minds of today's youth.
Today I learned that cats have 4 settings: angry, playful, content and happy. It is clear from this that there is something wrong with cats. Why is there no off setting? Thinking back to my childhood that maybe why my father had a burlap sack with 3 large rocks... I digress.
I am most happy for you that you are no longer angry at the world and everyone in it. Congratulations on dealing with your demons and becoming a better person.